Entry 5

Yes I slept with him! And him too! So?! I was playing Defense and sex was my weapon of choice. I was good at it. I enjoyed it. I made the rules. I determined if and when I would give it up. It a was my sport of choice. In the bedroom I was in control. I was free of criticism, laughter, pain...well there was some pain, good pain. The bedroom became my new safe haven, my freedom, my escape, and when it was over, I left it all right there. No attachments. Just play. Men had perfected this sport and I wanted in. I really didn't care if I hurt you because you thought we were friends and I slept with your man. He's still your man! Get over it! I'm done with him. I didn't need sex. It never was about sex. It was about control. My first time wasn't all sweet and innocent like I had seen in the movies. Nope. It was magical. Straight from a fairytale, Captain Hook. I controlled the show. Never was I going to let a man control me. Never was I going to allow emotions to enter into this beautiful game. NEVER!!! At least that's what I told myself, but we all know the saying...'Never say Never'