Entry 15

He was dreamy. His eyes smiled and when he looked at me his whole world lit up. I felt safe with him. When we were together, I mattered. I belonged. He made me feel like I was the most beautifulest woman in the world. This was new for me and I wasn't sure it was real but I didn't want to screw it up. I wanted to see where this could go but there was just one problem, I was pregnant. I wanted to tell him when we first set our eyes on each other again but I was scared that he'd walk away. The connection that I felt with him was unexplainable. So I stayed quiet and our bond grew. We became so conjoined that one day I went over to his house and never left. I moved in. It was the day before Valentine's Day, I felt bad about not telling him my secret. Since I was not showing yet it was easy for me to stay silent but I worried that soon I would blow up and it would all blow up in my face. Please understand that I didn't mean to not tell him but it never seemed like the right time. However the day before Valentines Day I couldn't stay quiet any longer. I had packed my things and was prepared for the worst. He came home and I told him. What a relief it was to finally let him know... I guess. He flipped. I don't quite remember all of the details but I do remember some curse words, a really angry face, and a slam of the door. He hated me. I knew I should be gone when he got back but I couldn't move. I wanted him to know that I was sorry. I was sorry. Really I was. What had I done?! Why didn't I tell him sooner?! I was 4-5 months pregnant at the time, why didn't I say something sooner?! Now what?!